A Better Place
There was a lot of talk of my mother being in a better place at her wake and funeral and I can't say I disagree even though my mother and I disagreed about what awaits us after death (yes, we had such discussions; she didn't earn her family nickname "Morbid Mom" for nothing). My mother almost looked forward to the day when she would be reunited with my brother who died in a car accident when he was 24 years old. That was her religious faith, but I saw it as the way she coped with what must surely be the most painful experience a person can endure: the death of a child. And I hope for her that I am wrong and that she got her wish. I don't believe I'll ever see my mother and brother again, and that is why my memories of them are sacred. If they are in a better place it is because they won't have to endure the grief and future loss of family and friends.
posted by BayonneMike at 6:56 PM
10 Comments:
Our condolences, Michael.
To believe that they believe may bring the greatest comfort.
They don't call it the "opiate of the masses" for nothing.
Personally, I'm obsessed with the mystery of the hereafter. No one really knows until...you know.
And they never speak, honey.
I know why we have pain, to tell us to seek attention for something that can maim or kill us, but why does the pain continue even after we've obeyed the body's injunction to slow down or seek help? My father would usually ascribe this stuff to being a mystery, like Carlin's Quandary--can God make a rock that he himself cannot lift? There were two kinds of truth, said my father, scientific and religious, and the two could exist together.
If there is a heaven, I would like to wake up in the Hotel Pennsylvania in 1930 with a trunk of money. New York nightlife was at its peak and seeing Bob Hope or Fred Astaire when they first hit the scene would be like, well, heaven, if you love show biz as I do.
Deepest condolences to you and family.
Sad news Mike.
Please accept my sincere condolences.
My sincere condolences, Mike.
I truly hope you are wrong too, Mike, as it would be sooo great to see those we love again...those who loved us best. I trust Jesus was not lying, or mistaken, or mislead. Misunderstood? Misquoted? Oi Vey.... I hope not! Either way, nothing is okay, but something good way better. Especially if it means seeing them again.
An early memory: Your mom was the best. I will never forget that last summer working at the college, when she told me about you. "You never met my Michael? In 3 years you've never heard of him?" It seemed a mystery to her how 3 years could go by without my ever laying eyes on you, but we both know that it's because you were in the accelerated program, taking all those college prep classes, while I was making spit balls down in study hall. Anyway she aaid, " I can't believe you've never met him. Look for him, Gina. Look for him!!!!" She was laid back, with this great sense of humor and everyone on that line loved her. One day, I was eating an iceberg salad in the back, and a piece of the stem got caught in my craw just above my stomach. It was painfully lodged there, and I started to panic. Your mom was there at the time and calmed me down, was rubbing my shoulder, and kept giving me milk and hot water to wash it down and stayed with me until I felt better.
An angel of mercy. Sharp as a tack and gentle as a dove.
Morbid Mom...only you.
Thanks for the story, Gina, but I don't understand why she didn't just have you come out to the car for the intro on the nights that I picked her up from the college.
Also, I don't think I'm responsible for the "Morbid Mom" nickname. I think my brother Matt coined it. My mother didn't shy away from death. If someone we knew died, she was the first person on the horn to fill us in. She didn't take any glee in it. Just accepted it as a part of life. I accept it as a part of life, too, the part I hate.
I do remember her getting picked up but I guess it was your dad waiting for her.I am sure on the occasion when you picked her up, I was sitting on curb outside the gate, per order of the Mother Superior, waiting for my mother's GodSquad car or Al in his MonteCarlo. Who knew you were there? Ask Sue D, Mike. She knew the whole deal, which was why we walked up to your house when she saw you on the sidewalk with that dude with the helmet hair. She said " There he is...let's go talk to him." As if I concocted it from my imagination... It was real, Mike. Maybe I forgot the meeting on the sidewalk, but I will never forget the mother who put the word 'my' in front of her son's name. Like my mother's A.S.K sermon and your sockless footwear.
I hate death too, Mike. The sooner we go the less we have to deal with everyone else. You first, honey. I guess this qualifies me as Morbid Gee. I'll go first but we tend to drag on.
Change subject. japaneze scissor pinch.
I'm sorry, Mike. That was so rude. Pleae forgive me. I'm lame.
Hi, here via the blog trail. Gina happened onto one of my sites. We are just getting aquainted.
Anyhow, from what I glean from this post it sounds like you had a wonderful mom with a very real faith.
I too have experienced the pangs of loss, my first husband died in a car accident at twenty-eight. Loss is never easy. But the Bible offers us hope. God offers us hope. He says that we can know for sure where we'll be for all eternity.
The Bible says in I John 5:11,12,13, "And this is the testimony: that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. (Jesus Christ) He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life, and that you may continue to believe in the name of the Son of God."
God's offer of eternal life is through His Son, Jesus. Jesus died to take the punishment for our sins, the wrong that we do that separates us from a holy God. When we're sorry for our sin and receive God's gift, we will be saved from our sin. God promises a home in Heaven to all who believe and receive Him. He also gives a peace that passes all understanding. Even though we go through difficult times, He will never leave those who trust Him. I have experienced His peace first hand.
Take care. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Susan
www.shareyourgrief.blogspot.com
www.livingtheadventurouslife.blogspot.com
Aw, that was so precious. When I put my foot in my mouth, some gracious sister comes along and speaks words of life to my dear friend. Awesome.
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