The Single Life
I may not have done a lot right in my life, but surveying the wreckage of the marriages of my family and friends, not getting married (or having kids for that matter since they're no longer mutually exclusive) seems to be one of my prouder achievements. At this point, I frankly don't think I have the patience for it (one of the downsides of living alone as long as I have, I guess). I don't believe in "romance" (the couple times I thought I was "in love" I now look back on as periods of mild mental illness). The companionship and regular sex, marriage's biggest selling points, can be great in the early stages, but by most accounts that doesn't last (how could it?!). Sure, the loneliness of the single life can get to some people, but I've never had a problem with it (television and booze are great antidotes). Being single just gives me more time to do what I really want to do instead of being tugged in different directions by my "other half". And before you all start yelling at me for being selfish, think about this: with most households requiring two incomes, marriage has become mainly a financial arrangement (which becomes crystal clear during the divorce proceedings). Getting married to improve your social status is kind of selfish too, no? OK, you can start yelling at me now.
posted by BayonneMike at 9:11 AM
8 Comments:
hardly seems worth it, dont it? just gimme a hot piece of ass who doesnt mind cleaning up after me and doing some cooking. that way, when I'm done with her shit I can tell her to hit the effing bricks.
I've always wondered, Xmastime, how will you approach the subject of "the jars"?
I believe Singleness is a calling; an institution (on the same level as marriage), which needs to be cultivated and protected at all costs. When loneliness starts creeping up on you, try flooding your senses. Grab onto your huggy pillow, get a pizza, turn up the music, mute the TV, call a freind, go to a movie, and read something good or...go to sleep! Like bad gas, it will pass. Assume the position.
I liked this:
“With married men their amorous romance is apt to decline after marriage…but with a bachelor, though it may slumber, it never dies. It is always liable to break out again in transient flashes, and never so much as on a spring morning in the country; or on a winter evening, when seated in his solitary chamber, stirring up the fire and talking of matrimony.”
- Washington Irving
I hear you Bayonne. These days, Rambler rambles alone. Some nights the cheesesteak and yankee game is mighty depressing, but last night it was pretty good.
Confirmed Bachelor.
Now that I'm older and I suppose somewhat wiser I look back at the wreckage of my multiple marriages and say, "What was I thinking!?" I thought marriage and family was going to be something akin to "The Brady Bunch". So naive.
Although, I must say that since I sobered up and got a job my fourth marriage (the longest at 4 years and counting)is pretty darned good.
I think the secret is 'not going there'. The place were disagreements turn into disrespectful debacles. Once those words pass through the lips you can never take them back. In my experience, thats where the problems started.
Just don't go there. Mutual respect and understanding is the way to go.
Sorry for the diatribe. I'm glad you're happy as what the brilliant Neil Diamond song calls, "A Solitary Man" Rock on.
I think the best reason to get married is to be a family. It's really a comfort to be with someone who knows you and takes you as you are. It's REALLY GOOD when it's right, and it's really Right when it's good. You just know each other best. In this age of enlightenment, we'd hope that maturity would require a sensible reason beyond romance to fly to Vegas for a meetin' with Father Elvis. For the love of Elvis, marry that woman.
I'm married, but my wife lives in another country. We get along great.
No yelling here ... to each his or her own as they say.
I dig the entire family to such an extent that it is not worth the effort to imagine a life without 'em.
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