Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Inglorious nonsense

I thought Inglourious Basterds was just another dumb Tarantino movie. Here's how I break it down:

Chapter 1: dumb homage to Once Upon a Time in the West, complete with Ennio Morricone music. Since that movie included a family massacre, Tarantino has to rely on it to stage his family massacre. His imagination can go no further than what he's already seen in other movies.

Chapter 2: It occurred to me during the head bashing scene that this is the perfect analogy for watching a Quentin Tarantino movie. The Brad Pitt character even acknowledges this when he comments, pre-head bashing, that it was the next best thing to going to the movies. And sure enough, as the Eli Roth character starts swinging his bat, the audience began snickering and giggling at the jokey violence, Tarantino's trademark, just like the characters up on screen.

Chapter 3: Who knew that what World War II movies were truly lacking was a critique of German cinema. Why? Because Tarantino knows nothing beyond fucking movies (and he's probably too lazy to do any research to come up with anything historically accurate or interesting). This is why the bulk of the movie takes place in a movie theater and we get little side lectures on the flammability of nitrate film. It also looks like Tarantino has a new goofy obsession: strudel with cream. Get ready to see it in future films with his other goofy obsession: women's feet. Also, must he include that soundtrack music from White Lightning in every one of his movies?! Is it in his contract? It's really getting tired.

Chapter 4: A homage to the big shootout in Pulp Fiction (he's even quoting himself now!) except with Nazis instead of dope dealers. Also, another Mexican standoff which may also be in his contract.

Chapter 5: The grand finale that gets the biggest laugh with Pitt's bad accent (a I Love Lucy homage?). Of course, the whole fantasy of killing Hitler is just absurd to begin with, but Tarantino gives it his all. Was that a Dario Argento homage with the ghostly image in the smoke at the end? Who gives a shit?

As I was leaving the theater, I overheard a discussion among a group of elderly women (the old ladies in Bayonne always come out in droves for the most violent movies--it's a little scary). Anyway, one woman asked the group what they thought of it. Of course, they were all reluctant to admit they might as well have just thrown their $7 in the gutter. One woman said that none of it was true (i.e. the premise was dumb) and another woman said that it was funny. And that's it in a nutshell. Obviously I'm in the minority of people who don't find Tarantino cute and funny. And who am I to argue with a bunch of old ladies who want to have a few laughs watching a Nazi get his head bashed in?

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