Tuesday, December 11, 2007

3 Women

A drunk Indian woman from Trinidad, who may also have been mentally-challenged (it was hard to tell considering the advanced stage of her intoxication), fell in love with me in my uncle's bar on Saturday night. She told me that I looked "sad" and "worried" and that she wanted me to buy her another drink. I told her that she probably had enough and that it would be better if she just went home and slept it off. She wanted a hug before leaving and I obliged, but as I returned to my beer she pounced from behind and slobbered me with two wet kisses, one on each cheek, to the general amusement of all the bar regulars.

A little later, waiting for the PATH train into Manhattan, I noticed an attractive young woman on the platform. We boarded the same passenger car at opposite ends, but looking for a seat, she found one directly in front of where I was standing. "Did she do that on purpose?" I thought (of course, as you may have already guessed, I was slightly intoxicated by this time). As the train proceeded into the city, I found my eyes returning to gaze upon this woman (I was too drunk to dip into the copy of Conrad's The Secret Agent that I had brought along). I couldn't help myself. After a bit of this surreptitious staring, I noticed something odd. Occasionally the young woman would cover her mouth with her hand, but from the angle where I was standing I could see that what she was really doing was sneakily sucking her thumb. As a former thumb sucker myself, I was not only taken aback by the fact that she was still sucking her thumb into her late twenties/early thirties, but that she would do this in such an openly public place (I would never have had such nerve back in my thumb sucking days). Now I was fixated. I couldn't turn my eyes away. And none of this seemed to have any effect on the young woman. I might as well have been invisible. Before I got off of the train, I felt like I had to say something to her. Leaning in to speak as the train pulled into my stop, I said without thinking, "Just remember that you're beautiful." I guess I caught her off guard because her thumb was still in her mouth as I departed the train.

Later, at the Marah concert I went into the city to see, Xmastime introduced me to two young women I had given a ride to some seven years ago or so for a previous show at The Stone Pony in Asbury Park. One of the women seemed much more beautiful than I had remembered. In fact, she was quite stunning. Imagine my utter deflation when the first thing she said to me was, "You've gotten fat and old." Ah, now that's more like it!

10 Comments:

Blogger Gina said...

"just remember that you're beautiful...wow. You said that? Aw...I think that Indian woman worked something Trinidadian on you. Wow.

2:05 PM  
Blogger yakimba said...

After a careful re-read I would have called this tale "5 Women".

2:30 PM  
Blogger BayonneMike said...

Nah, Gina, it was the many magical Coors Lights that I had imbibed.

Ah, very perceptive, yakimba. Now name them.

3:53 PM  
Blogger Angelissima said...

How sweet of you to comfort the thumb-sucker. What you left out was her reaction. Did she give you a "shut-up asshole" look or a look of relief? Or a come-hither look that later on you realize and gave yourself the "I shudda had a V-8" knock on the forehead?

And what a gaul of the other one. Was she drunk or struck with the "I'm too sexy for my shirt" attitude.

What I find telling is your comfort with the insult. Guys. Can't figure you out no how.

Its almost like you wouldn't want to join a club that would have you as a member.
:-)

6:05 AM  
Blogger BayonneMike said...

The strange thing was that the thumb sucker hardly reacted at all. She didn't even remove her thumb when I leaned down to speak to her. There was no audible response shouted in my direction as I exited the train.

6:35 AM  
Blogger Rambler said...

fat and old, sure she wasn't talking to Xmastime?

8:05 AM  
Blogger yakimba said...

5 "Women"

Proper response to
-"You've gotten fat and old"
is
-"Just remember that you're beautiful."

11:22 AM  
Blogger Brian said...

Freud said that sometimes a thumb is just a thumb.

I'm violating netiquette here but check out my appearance as Special Assignment Photographer in forgotten-ny.com.
http://www.forgotten-ny.com/SLICES/marine.park.dino/dino.html
This could be the break I've been waiting for, like mesmerizing a gal and making her love me the Mike way.

8:18 PM  
Blogger Gina said...

Winter bear fat, my friend. You need it to stay warm and healthy.

Use the digs that come your way to your advantage, Mike. But first, you have to heal. Remember 3 things:

1.That she's a probably a jackass, like me, sometimes. Maybe she was drunk. In a perfect world, her bad manners would detract from her beauty. She is probably regretting it... I was at a party last summer and happened to be talking to a handsome guy with a buzzcut and thin frame. I asked him "where is your tattoo?" alluding to the fact that he resembled a prisoner of war. He didn't get it so I explained, and remember using the word "emaciated". My friend later told me that the guy was crushed. He liked his new look but because of what I said was growing his hair back. She said he has some kind of health problems and issues with gaining weight. So you see...we get drinking and say things we later regret. OR maybe she's just a jackass!

2. Thankfully the lighting in the Bowery is very poor. Combined with the beer goggle effect, anyone is going to become more beautiful. Note: Old and fat does not mean you are not cute and adorable as well.

3.That you are still beautiful.

1:18 PM  
Blogger BayonneMike said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

3:37 PM  

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