The pros and cons of cruising, part one
I've never been very good at making vacation plans. The main reason for this is because I'm not particularly interested in traveling alone. Traveling alone just strikes me as an even lonelier experience than my ordinary day to day life. And who wants to go away only to feel worse about yourself? In the past I've tagged along with friends when they suggested a trip, but more often than not, I end up taking a week off in the summer and using the remainder of my vacation time around the holidays at the end of the year ("use it or lose it").
So, when a friend in Florida proposed a cruise out of Tampa, I couldn't refuse (although I did hesitate for a moment because of a flashback to a disastrous one-day cruise to Freeport, Bahamas I took many years ago, my only other cruising experience). Ten days also seemed kind of long to me, but with five days devoted to stops in Grand Cayman, Costa Rica, Panama, Honduras, and Mexico (none of which I had ever been to before), I figured I wouldn't feel too claustrophobic being on the boat for the five "at sea" days. Since I had no other plans on the horizon and didn't want to burn my vacation time like I did last year, I booked it.
The first leg of my journey was a flight out of Newark to Tampa. I gave myself the usual hour and a half before my departure, but I didn't count on a dirty old European hippie pitching a fit because he was too late to check his bag for his flight. This caused a logjam at the check-in counter and I came within minutes of being too late to check my own bag. By the time I got scanned for shoe bombs (I wonder if that dipshit shoebomber sits in his cell with a smile on his face, proud of the mass stupidity he has wrought at all the world's airports?) and reached my gate, they were already calling my row for boarding.
The flight was uneventful for the most part until I became preoccupied with the reading material of one of my fellow passengers. I'm always checking out what people are reading on the bus, train, plane etc. I like to know what people are interested in. Actually, I find it comforting that people still read. The guy next to me was reading a Dan Brown book (not the one that made him the new Stephen King, the other one). But the woman sitting diagonally across from me (a mother in her early 30s) was reading one of those celebrity gossip magazines (I never saw which one it was--does it matter?). I wondered how long it would take her to go through it. What with Anna Nicole Smith croaking and Britney Spears doing what she does best (drawing the media's attention), there was certainly plenty to ruminate on. When an hour passed and she was still reading, I became fixated and put aside my own book (Richard Ford's generally disappointing "Independence Day"--at this time I was still unaware that I may have been reading the most boring first 100 pages of any book I have ever read). Amazingly, this woman spent the entire flight (over 2 hours) poring over the pages of that magazine. Not only did she appear to analyze every photo and caption (do they even have text to go along with the photos anymore? It was hard to tell), but she even returned for a reread of the Anna and Britney stories. Was this woman an idiot? She didn't look like an idiot. She looked like a Soccer Mom. What's going on here?
So, when a friend in Florida proposed a cruise out of Tampa, I couldn't refuse (although I did hesitate for a moment because of a flashback to a disastrous one-day cruise to Freeport, Bahamas I took many years ago, my only other cruising experience). Ten days also seemed kind of long to me, but with five days devoted to stops in Grand Cayman, Costa Rica, Panama, Honduras, and Mexico (none of which I had ever been to before), I figured I wouldn't feel too claustrophobic being on the boat for the five "at sea" days. Since I had no other plans on the horizon and didn't want to burn my vacation time like I did last year, I booked it.
The first leg of my journey was a flight out of Newark to Tampa. I gave myself the usual hour and a half before my departure, but I didn't count on a dirty old European hippie pitching a fit because he was too late to check his bag for his flight. This caused a logjam at the check-in counter and I came within minutes of being too late to check my own bag. By the time I got scanned for shoe bombs (I wonder if that dipshit shoebomber sits in his cell with a smile on his face, proud of the mass stupidity he has wrought at all the world's airports?) and reached my gate, they were already calling my row for boarding.
The flight was uneventful for the most part until I became preoccupied with the reading material of one of my fellow passengers. I'm always checking out what people are reading on the bus, train, plane etc. I like to know what people are interested in. Actually, I find it comforting that people still read. The guy next to me was reading a Dan Brown book (not the one that made him the new Stephen King, the other one). But the woman sitting diagonally across from me (a mother in her early 30s) was reading one of those celebrity gossip magazines (I never saw which one it was--does it matter?). I wondered how long it would take her to go through it. What with Anna Nicole Smith croaking and Britney Spears doing what she does best (drawing the media's attention), there was certainly plenty to ruminate on. When an hour passed and she was still reading, I became fixated and put aside my own book (Richard Ford's generally disappointing "Independence Day"--at this time I was still unaware that I may have been reading the most boring first 100 pages of any book I have ever read). Amazingly, this woman spent the entire flight (over 2 hours) poring over the pages of that magazine. Not only did she appear to analyze every photo and caption (do they even have text to go along with the photos anymore? It was hard to tell), but she even returned for a reread of the Anna and Britney stories. Was this woman an idiot? She didn't look like an idiot. She looked like a Soccer Mom. What's going on here?
posted by BayonneMike at 12:09 PM
5 Comments:
I tend to gravitate towards People magazine when faced with choices in waiting rooms. It’s a guilty pleasure, peeking in on how the other half lives. Personally I like the first few pages. They tear apart what the Celebs wear. People seems a little more sophisticated than say the National Enquirer.
These rags are pure escapism. A fantasy, it’s so unlike our hum-drum lives as suburban soccer moms.
I've got nothing against the rags. They serve a purpose, I suppose. It was the amount of time that this woman devoted to it that I found alarming. Even more shocking was an article I read recently suggesting that knowledge of celebrity gossip is the new lingua franca for the hip and the sophisticated.
Most of the Brooklyn (former) hipster types (they are so hip,that being classified as hipster is distasteful)
I know (in a former life, before soccer mom status - now only through blogs and vlogs) prefer US magazine as much as mutton-chop sideburns on guys. (longest sentence in the world, sorry)
Lingua Franca indeed.
The woman on the plane. she probably didn't want to make eye contact with anyone. Pretending to re-read the same magazine is a common defense mechanism or perhaps she had a lot on her mind and really wasn't 'reading'. Who knows.
Once on my way home to Howell on the NJ Transit I was stuck next to this woman reading a trashy romance novel. She was smashed up against me in a three seater. I read over her shoulder the most erotic content. Talk about uncomfortable...she was an older, obese grandmother type. Talk about escapism.
First thing I do when I get to the airport is get the Star. Mindless, mean, entertaining trash to whip through in 20 minutes while waiting to board and takeoff. Fodder for small talk, much like boys talk about sports. And since I work for a fashion mag...gotta talk the latest lingo. Although I'm not going to pretend I don't enjoy them.
No idea on the rereading, though.
Post a Comment
<< Home