Back from the Caribbean
I'm back from my 10-day, first-ever cruise of the Caribbean (more on that later) and things are already back to normal (read: "have already deteriorated badly"). Of course, I left my hairbrush behind in my "stateroom" (so much grander than "cabin," no?) and my comb had disappeared down a black hole in my apartment before I left, so, after a frantic search for anything to amass my overdue-for-a-haircut head of hair into something that didn't resemble a swirlie or attract the attention of the police on the lookout for escaped mental patients, I did something I suspect very few grown men have ever done: after a thorough scouring with hot water, I combed my hair with the toilet brush. I'm back, baby!
posted by BayonneMike at 8:31 AM
8 Comments:
the cruise a comedy seminar? heyoo! welcome home.
dude. you have done the unthinkable: grossed out Xmastime. congrats.
In retrospect, it probably wasn't such a hot idea. Found a few "knots" after I bought a comb on my lunch hour hee hee hee hee hee!
what a shithead
I'm just intrigued that there is something you believe more likely to qualify you for "escaped mental patient" status.
Good point, yakimba. My first day back did not go well and there were other occasions when I could just as easily been confused for a mental patient.
While going through a heavy backlog of e-mails (mostly goofs from friends--hey, a guy's gotta get his laughs wherever he can find 'em), I got the worst leg cramp in my life. I completely locked up and moving my leg only seemed to make matters worse. For once, I understood the old man's screaming in the middle of the night whenever he got one. That's exactly what I wanted to do except I was in the middle of an office and couldn't. Finally I was able to straighten my leg and Tin Man it out of my cubicle to the men's room (my thinking being that if there was going to be any screaming, it would be less alarming coming from the can--I'm not sure why). The pain was incredible. As I neared the men's room, I thought for a moment I might need an ambulance. Would they come for a leg cramp? Unlikely. I just had to wait this thing out. Fortunately, the pain began to subside at the urinal, but to add insult to injury, I ended up drenching myself with a misfire that I failed to notice due to being distracted by my pain. So, now I had to paper towel down and take additional time to dry or else risk being mistaken for a mental patient for the third time in the space of a couple hours
Micheal...You might be dehydrated from your trip and flight home. Potassium depleted. Seriously. It would account for the sudden leg cramp, for one thing. Could also cause weakness and confusion. You should go out right now and get yourself a banana, orange juice, drink plenty of water. Potatoes are high in K+ as well. And a comb, for goodness sakes. Toilet brush....Ingenious, McGyver!
Toilet Brush? TOILET BRUSH?
Mike, buy yourself the economy pack of assorted combs next time. Its always good to have a spare.
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