What I've learned from my association with alcoholics

They wear you down with their repetitious behavior. And their apologies that are only good until the next time they screw up. And their promises to stop drinking that are just as meaningless as all the apologies. Ponderous, it's all so ponderous.

They also don't seem to be governed by the same clock as most people. So, a phone call at 4:45 a.m. or ringing someone's doorbell like a maniac before 7 in the morning isn't unusual (actually, I was expecting that one--a lot of alcoholic behavior is very predictable--in fact, I had been thinking for a while about how I might confront this particular maniac. Rip Torn and I seem to have had similar ideas for the use of the hammer--fortunately, I didn't have to wield mine).

Worst of all is that it points to a significant problem in me, that I've allowed it to continue for so long and still don't have a clue how to end it (or even worse, that I know how to end it, but don't seem capable of doing so).